White Balloon

Daily Journal of Mahaan, an Iranian-American student residing in USA.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Time is running fast!

It is always good to have a simple philosophy and vision about life, but at the same time it is good to balance it about practical issues that have long term effects on one's happiness.

Last night I was thinking about the next few years and the major changes that might appear in my life. One of the resolutions that I had at the end of past summer was about having a kid in my life. I felt it is a task that I like to do as part of my life adventure and I am capable of doing a good job. I am not decided if I want to have my own kid or adapt a kid, but I am sure that I am going to have a kid. I was thinking a healthy age to have a kid is probably some time around 35 (I don't want the kid see only her old daddy). And then I realized that I don't have much of time left there. I'm close to 32 now. That means that in the next 2-3 years I have to (1) come to a final decision with Reyhan, (2) Stabilize my financial situation and place of living at least for a few years (3) if required find a new partner and start a new life (4) ... Considering the final years of PhD and unstabilitys about job, etc, this is going to be quite intense and packed period. Apparently honeymoon is over...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Arrival of the Fall

Squirrel Hill on Saturday mornings is reminder of the north Berkeley for me. A live and warm atmosphere filled with many options: The bookstore, variety of food and coffee shop options, many familiar faces that have been accumulated in my mind over the past few years and a real sense of community.

Fall is arriving here in Pennsylvania. I love the crispy cold weather of Fall. Heaters are not on yet and you sense that crispiness of weather as you struggle with getting out of the blanket. As you see people are putting on their light jackets and scarves on, hands go into pockets and bodies are a bit squeezed in. Hot tea and hot chocolates replace the iced teas and iced coffee orders. The amazing colorful harmony of the season is a reminder of the music of Rachmaninoff for me. Pieces like the 2nd part of the Piano Concert No. 2 or Symphony No. 2. A romantic overture to an stormy and tough winter!

Friday, October 12, 2007

my life vs. their lives

They are in this.
I'd rather shut up and think more.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Film: Grbavica

Grbavica is Strong film from Bosnia-Herzegovina about the post-war Balkan. Esma a widow and her daughter Sara live in today's Sarajevo, dealing with the daily difficulties of devastated Balkan life. Sara has inherited the identity of the daughter of a martyrs while Selma does not provide her with any proof of such an status. The society is clearly a mafia run society where intellectuals are at best bodyguards of the gangs. In such a violent and depressed society, where is the position of widow and her teenage daughter? In several layers, the movie presents the heavy side effects of the brutal Balkan war and the struggle of a new generation to get out of that shadow.

Grbavica is not a dark movie. It pictures hope and the struggle of human being for survival both physically and emotionally and also the importance of community work in such a wounded society. As Esma sings in one Bosnian folklore song "Desert can blossom if there is a vision of paradise."
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