White Balloon

Daily Journal of Mahaan, an Iranian-American student residing in USA.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Notes of a changing mind :)

I was thinking about people around myself: Reyhan, Babak, Baba, Maman, Azad, etc. and came to my mind how much I do to help them and how little I do. How much I have waisted my mind over these past few years on the world affairs while nothing has been achieved and actually things have got worse. There was a moment of feeling so much helpless about the world, but powerful about improving the world around me.
I'm still quite weak about having a concrete and strong vision about the future and my main wishes of life and maybe that's the reason that my mind get easily manipulated by the current affairs. Dreaming about changing the world, while not be able to change even the quality of life for the dear ones. I constantly live in the future but without having a clear dream of that future? Among all the large bag of my ideals, which one are the most important one? Which one are really the thing that I want to have?
It's very important to have clear dreams, plans and wishes for the future. Where do I want to be? Where do I want her to be? What about our relationship? What's the dreamy setup for 5 years from now? What about my family? And then plan and move towards these. It's definitely not like that now. There is so much distraction, so much confusion and uncertainty and too much of relativism about every move, every judgment. Something major gotta change.
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